The other day my girlfriend pointed out a grey hair growing on my head. So I screamed at her like a pterodactyl then said, “That’s why I’ll give you mouth aids and not give a shit, you closet Femdomist”. She had no clue the grey hair would make me shout and cuss and later completely make up a story to her sister about how she doesn’t think her sis is pretty enough to be on okcupid. She couldn’t understand why I huffed off - or the cryptic meaning to my parting words - “Well, just go steal my gawd damn bicycle too.”
Posts tagged lol
I go to the deep south a lot for work. As a strange stranger, in a stranger land, they have a way of stating statements at you down there.
• “Stop. Or, I’ll knock you in the head and tell God you died.”
• “Bruce ain’t home. He’s in a ass stompin’ contest.”
• “Don’t worry. We can eat dinner at the strip club. They got a salad bar.”
• “Hey! You look like something my dog keeps under the porch!”
• “BUD LIGHT?!? Shit, we give that to the donkey.”