I go to the deep south a lot for work. As a strange stranger, in a stranger land, they have a way of stating statements at you down there.

• “Stop. Or, I’ll knock you in the head and tell God you died.”

• “Bruce ain’t home. He’s in a ass stompin’ contest.”

• “Don’t worry. We can eat dinner at the strip club. They got a salad bar.”

• “Hey! You look like something my dog keeps under the porch!”

• “BUD LIGHT?!? Shit, we give that to the donkey.”